To split? Or not to split?

Everyday, there are people hitching up and splitting.

Why do people choose to get married in the first place? In olden days, male often get married for a next generation to carry on the family's name. Females do so as it is a norm for them once they reached a certain age. (there have to be mutual liking, of course) They will then stick together throughout their lives. However, as times change, people talk more about feelings rather than responsibilities.

This is an illustration of the Knapp Model of Relational Development. It shows the 10 stages in 2 phases in which Mark Knapp believe relational development can be classified into.

Personally, I agree that what he had included in the Model is highly relevant to relationships in the contemporary world today ESPECIALLY the intensifying, stagnating and terminating stages (just look at the phenomenal increase in divorce rate worldwide in recent years).

Look at LeAnn Rimes' marriage and the recent David Letterman scandal.




Both cheated on their partners, leading to the termination, or possible termination of their marriage.

However, the model does not apply to all relationship. They are not linear (it's only a theory after all); not all relations will follow the model strictly. They may lapse to earlier stages or skip a stage.

Let's take a look at this.

The video shows a family argument of the main characters (in order of appearance), Mutt, Indy and Marion, in the movie Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It suggested that Marion and Indy split when Indy went away before their marriage.
If you had watched Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark(1981), you will know that Indy and Marion ended up together at the end of the film. However, they were met with much challenges during the process.

(FYI: Mutt is their child.)

In Crystal Skull, Indy and Marion reunited and at the end of the film which saw the joining of them both in holy matrimony.

I tried applying the various stages to their relationship and I got this:
(It may be a little messy. But it should be okay if you had watched the films)

Initiating: She was his teacher's daughter.
Experimental: Not sure. But they probably went through that before dating each other.
Intensifying: Not sure. But they probably went through that before dating each other.
Integrating: When they dated each other.
Differentiating: Conflicting views; they argued a lot.
Avoiding: Difference in value; Marion was ready to get married, but Indy wasn't ready for the responsibilities. He went away eventually.
Stagnation: Absence of Indy (perhaps).
Terminating: Not totally. Both of them moved on. But Indy admitted that he was still in love with her in the Crystal Skull; relationship did not really cease. Moreover, they had Mutt! This kind of pulled their relation closer.
Initiating: When they met again after about 2 decades.
Intensifying: When Indy admitted that he still loves Marion.
Integrating: (Sort of) After he admitted his feelings.
Bonding: When they finally got hitched!

Notice how the stages are all jumbled up?
So you see, relationship may not necessarily follow the Model strictly. Not in this case.

In addition, not all relationships terminates; not all marriages end up with divorces. There are some that last. For instance:


American President Barack & Michelle Obama after 17 years of marriage,














Tom Hanks & Rita Wilson after 21 years of marriage.
And of course.....






















MY PARENTS! after 31 years of marriage. Love them.

Conclusion:
There isn't a perfect model for the development of relationships because all relations are unique in their own way. A model that apply to one relation doesn't necessarily apply to all.